Norm Quotes from Cheers

No Help Wanted:

Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?

Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.

Coach: How about a beer, Norm?

Norm: Hey I'm high on life, Coach.... Of course, beer is my life.

Fortune and Men's Weights:

Coach: How's a beer sound, Norm?

Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.

Coach: What's up, Norm?

Norm: Corners of my mouth, Coach.

Snow Job:

Coach: What's shaking, Norm?

Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.

Coach: Beer, Normie?

Norm: Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young.

Norman's Conquest:

Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?

Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.

I'll Be Seeing You (Part 2)

Coach: What's up, Normie?

Norm: The temperature under my collar, Coach.

Diane Meets Mom:

Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?

Norm: Going down?

Coach: What's up, Norm?

Norm: Everything that's supposed to be.

Peterson Crusoe:

Norm comes in, depressed. He just stands by the door with a sullen face.

Norm: [mutters] Afternoon, everybody.

All: Norm? (Norman?)

The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter:

Sam: What's new, Normie?

Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach. They're demanding beer.

King of the Hill:

Coach: What'll it be, Normie?

Norm: Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.

The Mail Goes to Jail:

Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?

Norm: Daddy wuvs you.

Behind Every Great Man:

Sam: What'd you like, Normie?

Norm: A reason to live. Gimmie another beer.

Norm: Afternoon, everybody.

All: Norm!

Cliff: Afternoon, everybody.

All: [silence]

The Executive's Executioner:

Sam: What will you have, Norm?

Norm: Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever

comes out of that tap.

Sam: Oh, looks like beer, Norm.

Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.

Birth, Death, Love and Rice:

Sam: What do you say, Norm?

Norm: Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer.

Woody Goes Belly Up:

Sam: What do you say to a beer, Normie?

Norm: Hiya, sailor. New in town?

Diane's Nightmare:

Norm: [coming in from the rain] Evening, everybody.

All: Norm! (Norman!)

Sam: Still pouring, Norm?

Norm: That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.

I'll Gladly Pay You Tuesday:

Sam: What's the good word, Norm?

Norm: Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.

Sam: Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer...

Norm: Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Sam: One heartburn cocktail coming up.

Love Thy Neighbor:

Sam: Whaddya say, Norm?

Norm: Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes.

The Bar Stoolie:

Woody: What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer.

Tan 'n Wash:

Paul: Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?

Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.

Norm: Hey, everybody.

All: [silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich]

Norm: [carries on both sides of the conversation himself]

Norm! (Norman.)

How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson?

Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer.

Home is the Sailor:

Norm: Hey, everybody.

Woody: Norm! [nobody else in the bar says anything]

Norm: That's it, I'm leaving.

Norm: [comes in, pretending to be Joe Average customer,

as part of operation Wayne Down the Dwain]

Customer: Norm!

Norm: [quietly] Not now!

Little Carla, Happy at Last, Part 2:

Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass.

A Kiss is Still a Kiss:

Sam: How's life treating you?

Norm: It's not, Sammy, but you can!

Let Sleeping Drakes Lie:

Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody?

Woody: For a beer?

Norm: No, for stupid questions.

Airport V:

Woody: What's the story, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery.

Let's cut to the happy ending.

Bar Wars II: The Woodman Strikes Back:

Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.

Norm: I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.

Don't Paint Your Chickens:

Sam: Beer, Norm?

Norm: Have I gotten that predictable? Good.

Call Me, Irresponsible

Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: A flashing sign in my gut that says, ``Insert beer here.''

Feeble Attraction:

Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?

Norm: Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?

It's a Wonderful Wife:

Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?

Norm: Another layer for the winter, Wood.

Miscellaneous

"Whatcha up to Norm?"

"My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall"

"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"

"Poor."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"No, I mean pour."

"How's life treating you, Norm?"

"Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife."

"What's going down, Normie?"

"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

"How's life in the fast lane, Norm?"

"Beats me, I can't find the on-ramp."

"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"

"Alright, but stop me at one.... make that one-thirty."

"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"

"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!"

"What's the story, Norm?"

"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

"What's the story, Norm?"

"Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it."

"How about a beer, Norm?"

"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"

"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson? A beer please, Woody."

"What's up, Normie?"

"My nipples, it's freezing out there."

"How are you today, Norm?"

"I'm on top of the world ... it's a dismal spot in Greenland."

"What's happening, Mr. Peterson?"

"The question is, Woody: why is it happening to me?"

"How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?"

"Pretty nervous if I was in the room."

"How are you today, Mr. Peterson?"

"Never benn better, Woody ... just once I'd like it to be better."

"How's life, Mr. Peterson?"

"Oh, I'm waiting for the movie."

"How's life, Mr. Peterson?"

"The plot's all right, Woody, but it falls apart at the end."

"How's life, Norm?"

"Not for the Squeamish, Coach."

"How's life treating you, Norm?"

"It's not, Sammy, but you can."

"Beer please Woody."

"Isn't it a little early Mr Peterson?"

"OK. Float a cornflake in it"

"What's shakin' Norm?"

"What isn't?"

"What'll you have, Norm?"

"Fame, fortune, and fast women."

"How 'bout a beer?"

"Even better."

"Whatcha up to Norm?"

"My ears."

"What can I do for you Norm?"

"Well, I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. Uhhh, how about a first one?"

"What's going on, Normie?"

"My birthday, Sammy. Give me a beer, stick a candle in it, and I'll blow out my liver."

"Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's up?"

"The warranty on my liver."

"What's doing, Norm?"

"Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig."

"What's the latest, Mr. Peterson?"

"Zha-Zha marries a millionaire, Peterson drinks a beer. Film at eleven."

"Beer Norm?"

"I remember that stuff. Better give me a tall one in case I like it."